Type 4. The Individualist

overview

Creative,

and often artistically gifted, Fours have the natural ability to appreciate the beauty. They are very creative and inventive, they value authenticity and aesthetic quality. Fours try to be aesthetically attractive, exceptional, and sometimes go to extremes and may seem extravagant and eccentric in their attempts to be noticed. They hate and avoid mediocrity, ordinary, normalcy. They subconsciously avoid being like everyone else. Fours respect outstanding personalities in the field of their interests: important poets, musicians, gurus, consultants, and often compare themselves to others causing feelings of deficiency and inferiority. This leads to low self-esteem and suffering.

Their sensitivity allows them to immediately and accurately perceive the moods and feelings of other people, the atmosphere of places. Fours draw their energy from others. Fours love deep and intimate relationships.

They like to bring a personal touch to everything they do. They give special importance to everything personal and sincere. They prefer to work in such an environment where they are the only specialist in their field and where there is no direct competition. They are very creative and inventive, they value authenticity and aesthetic quality.

They tend to stand out either through their looks or through their lifestyle. Many of them adhere to a special diet, e.g. vegan, or they may try to practice Buddhism, many advocate for the rights of animals, women, sexual or any other minorities. Absorbed by themselves, their suffering, Fours constantly focus on their “uniqueness” and continue to trigger situations where it is emphasized. Scandalous behavior develops a special charm in them. Something dark and forbidden is particularly attractive to Fours.

Emotional and sensitive, their mood can change many times a day like a roller coaster ride. They know the feeling of unyielding happiness and deep sadness. Melancholy is not a negative state for them.

At their best

They are sensitive, empathetic, deep, sincere, expressive, emotional, intuitive, creative, aesthetic, refined

When they are unhealthy

They are moody, melancholic, depressive, envious, self-tormenting, drama queen / king

examples

Famous People:

Claude Monet, Rudolf Nureyev, Ingmar Bergman, J. D. Salinger, Johnny Depp, Bob Dylan, Maria Callas, Edgar Allan Poe, Michael Jackson, Francoise Sagan.

“Art must take reality by surprise.”

– Françoise Sagan

From my coaching experience:

A woman in her 30’s had a wonderful family, loving and supportive husband and two adorable kids. Deep, sensitive, and compassionate, she wanted to pursue a career as a psychotherapist, but failed to start for many years as she compared herself with others and felt she was not good enough. She was constantly studying thinking that the next education or course will help her get better, but after each course she decided it was not enough and she would enroll in another course or training.

  • Core belief:

I am flawed so I’m not lovable.

Others have something that enables them to be happy, satisfied, loved;.

I am my feelings and emotions.

  • Core fear:

I’m afraid I don’t have my unique identity, my own ‘Self”.

I’m afraid I’m not lovable because I’m not unique, I’m like everyone else.

  • Basic desire:

To find oneself, be a unique and valuable personality.

To earn love through uniqueness.

  • Basic strategy:

Comparing with others, trying to stand out.

Growth path

The key steps of growth:

(based on my coaching experience of type 4 clients)

  • Be aware of your desire to stand out, be unique in the attempt to earn love. Everyone is unique.

  • Stop comparing yourself to the others.

  • Look for inner sources that can make you feel complete.

  • I can help you form key habits for this type that are like antidotes, free you from unhealthy habits. But first it’s better to start from the typing session. 

Subtypes

Self-preservation Four

Envy is less obvious in Self-Preservation Fours as they channel it into their work that can seem to somehow compensate for their feeling of deficiency. Suppressing their envy, shame, low self-esteem they zealously work putting themselves under a lot of pressure. They overload themselves with work, often working impulsively, inefficiently, as they play unconscious masochistic game of failure and suffering.

Social Four

Comparison of oneself to the others, triggers feelings of inadequacy, envy, jealousy and low self-esteem in Social Fours. This might take them really deep into the depressive spiral. Often deep suffering and shame pushes them into the role of a victim. Their “favorite” scenario is to create a situation that causes their rejection by the others to reconfirm their vicious circle of misery. They are very sensitive but they prefer to keep their suffering to themselves trying to appear friendly and sweet.  Sometimes they try to increase their self-esteem by buying themselves unique status though exclusive memberships, unique looks, behavior, or presentation.

Sexual Four

Envy activates the one-to-one relationship through competition. Competitiveness is expressed in two ways: (1) by competing for attention from selected extraordinary people and (2) through rivalry with people in order to feel superior. That is why they often seem arrogant, assertive and angry. Competition against rivals can shift into hate. They are also very reactive when their partner leaves for someone else. These Fours can be very aggressive in their attempt to beat competitors. If other Fours suffer, these Fours make others suffer. It helps them cope with their depression.

 
discover your type

You are 1 session away from discovering your type

Type Four is the 2nd difficult to identify type among all Enneagram type due to its versatility of manifestation. So let me help you in that. You can save time and money, discovering your type as soon as possible. Knowing your type gives CLARITY.