Type 1. The Perfectionist

overview

Idealists,

they are driven by a strong desire for excellence, an ideal vision of the world. They immediately notice EVERYTHING that does NOT correspond to this vision. They are judgmental, objective and rational.

Ones have high inner standards. Duty is more important than pleasure. That is why they are disciplined, orderly, reliable.

Nobleness is a characteristic trait of Ones. They are purposeful, principled, There are many talented teachers, reformers among them, who seek to improve the world. It is difficult for them to accept the imperfection of their own as well as other people.

Ones are perfectionists. They have a highly developed internal critic who restrains their emotions and needs – therefore, they strive to do what is right from the point of view of their critic, instead of what they really want to do. They try to avoid criticism, as they were criticized and punished in childhood. They love to do the job right and well, and you can be sure that they will do their best to do the best.

Ones are serious, responsible and even hyper responsible people and rarely joke at work. They only allow themselves to relax when they have completed their task and are satisfied by the results.

At their best

They are idealistic, serious, dutiful, disciplined, principled, reliable, responsible, prudent, straightforward, well-organized

When they are unhealthy

They are judgmental, inflexible, dogmatic, righteous, controlling, anxious, punitive

examples

Famous People:

Mahatma Gandhi, Margaret Thatcher, Harrison Ford, Hillary Clinton.

“Probably my worst quality is that I get very passionate about what I think is right.”

– Hillary Clinton

From my coaching experience:

He’s a good looking, well-educated hard-working man. He’s had quite a successful career. He has problems finding a life partner. He easily meets women as he’s charming and eloquent. He’s also good at dating. But after a short while he always finds something about his partner that he can’t tolerate and tries to change. For example, he tried to persuade his last girlfriend that she needed to work out regularly. He had good intentions as he constantly improves himself, too. That’s why he jogs and goes to the gym every other day. At the end of the day she couldn’t stand his constant irritation and discontent when she was reading, watching TV or spending time in FB, while “she could have exercised”. So he somehow implied it was over. Just like with all other women in his life. They were not good enough..

  • Core belief:

The world, me and all other people must strive for excellence.

  • Core fear:

I’m afraid not to match the image of the perfect self, not to meet my own high standards.

  • Basic desire:

To be good, to be perfect.

  • Basic strategy:

The fear manifests through constant criticism of oneself, others and the world around. 

Growth path

The key steps of growth:

(based on my coaching experience of type 1 clients)

  • Recognize your striving for perfection.

  • Notice your impulse to criticize yourself, others, the world for being imperfect (without criticizing it :).

  • Learn to accept your needs, desires and emotions that signal about them. And through that learn to accept yourself without criticism.

  • Practice anything that brings you relaxation, release of tension on any of the three levels: mental, emotional or bodily. Remember: others sense your state, whether it’s tense or relaxed.

  • With help of coaching I can help you go by this growth path faster. In any case first step is to discover your type.

Subtypes

Self-preservation One

Self-preservation Ones aim their perfection zest at themselves – they are really focused on self-improvement. For them their well-being (especially good order, cleanliness, aesthetics, and hygiene) and finances are extremely important areas of attention. That is why their own imperfections as well as those of the significant others are cause of their anger and anxiety.

Since they are more focused on themselves, rather than the external world, they notice their own imperfections and they are more anxious than angry. They are the most anxious of all three subtypes, so quite often SP Ones are confused with type 6. Both anxious, both need certain structures to support their righteousness and both get judgmental and angry when someone doesn’t follow these rules. In my opinion, the key difference between a Six and a Self-pres One is in the spontaneity of the Sixes and the rigidity of the Ones. Sixes are more flexible and more sociable. It’s 6’s way to cope with fear. For Ones it’s difficult to be spontaneous as all the information has to go through the censorship of the inner critic.

Social One

As all Ones, Social One has strong beliefs and opinions in this case more about ethical and moral issues of the society, its norms, rules, regulations, etc. That’s why they often make a career as a politician, police officer, judge, priest, head teacher.

They give a greater importance to connections outside their relationships, as they can’t help it but care about the social issues more than private ones. Furthermore, they tend to demand that their partners support them in their cause, or at least give them the time and space to engage in their cause.

Social Ones are so entrenched in once created a set of life principles and standards, that it makes them rigid, stubborn, dogmatic, and closed to new things. Others have a hard time communicating with them outside of One’s paradigm. Striving for perfectionism, their closed-mindedness might lead to unhealthy all-or-nothing behavior.

Because the inner critic is always active, their anger comes out onto the outside world in the form of criticism, blame, when they spot imperfections in others.

Sexual One

Perfectionism of Sexual Ones is around their relationships with their partners. Their Inner Critic is mercilessly and endlessly noticing everything that their partners do wrong according to set of principles and rules.

Ones might have a hard time finding the “right” partner due to extremely high standards about a “proper” partner. The process of partner selection is often long, rigorous and meticulous. It looks more like a selection of a job candidate as they look for the perfect partner, who also shares the same ideals, values with regard to relationships, finances, sex, children, etc.

When they find the “right” partner, they want their partner to work on self-development as hard as they do and live up to Ones’ high standards which might be a big pressure for their partners. When their partners try to just live, when they ignore, protest or rebel against constant self-improvement race or imposed standards and rules, Ones can feel betrayed and angry. They take it personally. The same applies to teammates and friends.

 
discover your type

You are 1 session away from discovering your type

I know it is difficult to identify your type yourself as it is important to identify the core unconscious beliefs. So let me help you in that. You can save time and money, discovering your type as soon as possible. Knowing your type gives CLARITY.